What I do when I've got a lot to do...

It's crunch time.

The dresses are in. The suits have been altered. The ties are waiting to be tied. The cute bridesmaids shoes are ready to be worn. The lists have been made. The house has been set up. These are my last 5 days as a single woman and the countdown to my "Big Fat Southern Wedding" is ticking.

Last night I was trying to organize my thoughts nice and neatly, but I kept staring at the computer screen. I couldn't stop thinking, but I wasn't thinking about anything. Then I thought "hmm...we should probably have an arrangement of how people will stand so that the rehearsal will run smoothly and I won't have to tell people where to stand..."

I opened up Publisher, began to make a diagram of the stage, and started to put x's and o's for where people would stand. Then I thought, "Well who wants to look at a diagram with x's and o's all over it?!" So I googled, copied and pasted, arranged, and came up with my finished arrangement.

Feast your eyes on what I spend my time doing when I should be doing something else more important...

Yes, this standing arrangement didn't have to be done, but just like this blog, I need something to get my mind off of my to do list for just a few short minutes.Okay, Vera (my planner) and I are off to accomplish great things now!

My Mother of the Bride

Unlike Father of the Bride, there is not a movie about the mother of the bride. However, there should be. I'm SURE it would be quite entertaining.

My mom has been there through every major and minor event of this wedding. She has given affirmation, taken care of what I don't want to deal with, and spent hours upon hours trying to make this wedding everything I want.

Some things I've heard her say through all of this...

"We really need to get together to discuss the reception."

"I think we need to cut the guest list"

"Why do we feel like we have to DIY everything?"

"We really need to get this done by Saturday."

"Let me look at my list."

While there have been some "intense fellowship" between my mother and I (in which my father served as the mediator) over the last few months over wedding festivities, the last few weeks have been very different. A married friend said to me the other day, "My mom drove me crazy during my wedding planning. Is your mom driving you crazy?" I thought for a second, and although a few months ago, I might have said yes, (no offense, Mom...I drove you crazy too :)) I said "not at all" honestly. How could she drive me crazy when she's washing my clothes, helping me set up and clean my classrooms, organizing my gifts, washing my new dishes, helping me organize my house, shopping with me for toilet brushes, giving me honest opinions, cleaning my house, helping paint, giving me advice about housekeeping, planning my wedding, dipping 1200 peanut butter balls, finishing the programs, scoping out furniture at antique stores while I'm at school so I can check them out after, coordinating everyone's schedules during the wedding weekend, and many many other things. She's not driving me crazy. She's driving me sane! If I didn't have her, I would be crazy right now. For instance, as I typed this blog, she verified our schedule for tomorrow, made sure I knew where Wesley's ring was, retrieved a lamp in the attic for my new home, and reminded me that I would eventually need to move my belongings out of her house. She is a remarkable woman with many talents, abilities, skills, and taste.

The relationship I have with my mom is unlike any other that I have. I have wonderful friends, but my mom is the person that I am the most honest with. She is the one that I can argue with one minute, and ooh and ahh over a pretty rug or lamp with the next minute. She is the one that I'm down right stubborn with, but yet highly value her opinion. She is one of my very best friends, and I'm so blessed to have her as my mom.

If you ask me, "like mother, like daughter" is the best compliment one can give.

Little Details - Part 2

Did you figure out what this is for?

Well if you did, great! If you didn't, I will tell you. A few months ago, Wesley and I were itching to go on a date. We went to eat, and then were going to go to a movie. However, we had a while before the movie started, so we went to Barnes and Noble. When we go to B&N, he reads music and drum magazines and I sit next to him and read wedding, home, or craft magazines. We're really exciting, I know. I was reading a wedding magazine, and I came across an article on saving money. Of course, I was interested. It mostly focused on cutting cost at the reception, like cocktail hour, open bars, etc. Since we're not having alcohol, I wasn't interested in that. I did, however, see a part about saving on favors. The magazine gave several suggestions for favors that would cost less, and they also had an idea about doing things in lieu of favors.

It suggested having a couple of fish bowls set up that represent different charities. Then, give each guest a token of some sort, and allow them to place their token in whatever charity bowl they wanted to contribute to. Each token represents a dollar, so after the reception the tokens will be tallied, and donations for those amounts will be made to the organizations. 

I decided that I liked that idea. In a world where everything is about self, it was refreshing to see an idea that helps other people. Favors can be so expensive and so pointless. Why would people want M&M's with mine and Wesley's face on them or magnets to remind them of the day that we were wed? 

So if you guessed that the picture was for a cause table you were correct. One reason I've tried so hard to save money during this whole process is because weddings cause unnecessary spending. The status quo of "what everybody does" gets out of hand. While looking at pictures and blogs of beautiful extravagant weddings that had a budget of $75,000, I can't help but think of all the people who have been suffering, even since I've been engaged. From the earthquake in Japan, the tornadoes in North Alabama, or even the drought in Ethiopia where my Compassion child is, or a sweet 6 year old on a list for a heart transplant...I can't spend an excessive amount of money, knowing that my wedding will only last 3 hours. The purpose of our wedding is not to keep up with the Jones and wow everybody with our extravagant decorations. It's to celebrate the love that Wesley and I have and to celebrate it with those that we know and love. 

You may be thinking, "Okay, I know the stones are for tokens. What is the candle for?" Well, that's a great question. 

We are called to be salt and light.

 Matthew 5:13-16:

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. 

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

 The tokens are the salt. The candle is the light. Each guest will receive a stone upon entering the reception. Each stone represents a dollar. There will be 2 hurricane lamps set up on a table that represent 2 causes. One is the Sendai Tsunami Relief Fund and the other is the Mary Beth Miller Heart Fund. Each guest will have the opportunity to designate their "dollar" for one of the two causes upon entering the reception. At the end of the reception, we will add up the contributions and make a donation for that amount to the funds.

Why did we choose these, you ask? Well although Sendai, Japan, is far away, it is closer to my heart than one might think. When I was a senior in high school, I received a generous scholarship from Sony. At the time, there was a Sony plant in Dothan. I not only received money for school, but I also received the slick laptop computer that I used to type many-a-papers and that I am currently using to type this blog. Needless to say, that Sony scholarship was a blessing in more than one way. A couple years ago, the Sony plant in Dothan closed, and many Japanese Sony employees moved to Sendai, Japan. (You can see where this is going...) When the earthquake and the tsunami hit Japan, many former Sony employees experienced great devastation and the heartache of losing spouses, children, loved ones, and everything they had. The former president of Sony set up an account at a local bank in support of the Sendai Tsunami Relief. These people were some of the same ones that interviewed me for the scholarship, attended banquets and functions for the Sony Star Class program, and helped me get through school with generous funds and a computer.We want to use the blessing we've received and bless them some way in return. 

The other cause is also a special one. When I was in my awkward adolescent years, I had a loving, caring, wonderful Sunday School teacher/mentor. When you asked how she was, she responded with "just peachy!" When we would make dumb comments as middle schoolers, she would affectionately respond with "Have you done bumped your head?!" When she was cold she would say "It is chilly-whack in here!" She would have spend the night parties at her house and take us riding around town in her blue mustang convertible...yes, we thought we were awesome. We made fun of her for crying at everything, and we tried to set her up with the boys' Sunday School teacher. When they started dating, my friends and I ragged him about proposing. When he did propose, we felt like we were responsible for their marriage. 

They had a daughter 6 years ago, and from the beginning Mary Beth has had many heart and health problems. She has been such a strong little girl, and now she is on top priority for a heart transplant. The donations will go straight to the Mary Beth Miller Heart Fund. 

As we're on the countdown week, it's my hope and prayer that our wedding is more than just a union of two people. I pray that it is a testimony of God's faithfulness, love, goodness, and provisions.

Until next time, 

Miss Gay (for 7 more days)